Totsuka Memories
by IchijosAura
Summary: One shots of Mikoto and Totsuka pairing; rated M for possible later chapters. (You may not understand some of the chapters unless you have read Memory of Red).
1. Tattoo

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this; they belong to their original owners. This is completely non-profit

Authors note: Hi, this is my first time writing for this pairing, so sorry if it's a little weird, but I hope you like it: Its an alternative storyline of how Totsuka could have got his Homra tattoo.

* * *

'Totsuka,' Mikoto finally voiced the other boys name; Totsuka was wandering around the new bar, looking at almost everything in it, but he was being much quieter than normal.

'Kusanagi must trust us a lot to let us in the bar without him,' Totsuka answered, turning to reveal a smile on his face, Mikoto wasn't completely convinced, but he let Totsuka just keep looking around, not wanting to ruin the moments of happiness the other was having, Totsuka kept talking as he walked around, 'We should take lots of pictures here, or videos, videos would be better: that would capture everyone as they are.'

'Just don't point the camera at me,' Mikoto mumbled in reply.

Totsuka laughed, seeming to have cheered up again, 'That defeats the point.'

Mikoto leaned back against the back of the sofa, continuing to watch Totsuka walk around the bar; he had just closed his eyes when he heard Totsuka's voice say his name, closer than it had been all night.

Totsuka tried to keep the smile on his face as Mikoto looked up at him, 'I want to be a real member of Homra, like Kusanagi.'

'You are a member,' Mikoto answered, wondering why Totsuka was bringing this up, he could never quite grasp what was going on in Totsuka's head.

'No, I mean I want a tattoo,' Totsuka explained, moving a couple of steps closer to the sofa.

Mikoto took a deep breath as he answered, 'No,' the idea of it going wrong was too terrifying to think of to let Totsuka even think about doing that.

'But I want to be your vassal,' Totsuka's reply came with enthusiasm, 'Please, King. Kusanagi got… '

'He's not you,' Mikoto said bluntly, still trying to push away the ideas of what would happen to Totsuka if his request went wrong. Hurt flickered across Totsuka's face, stalled by Mikoto's blunt answer, making Mikoto realise how badly that had come out, 'It's dangerous,' he added, looking away from Totsuka.

'It'll be fine,' Totsuka smiled again, as if the reason it was dangerous would never get in his way.

'It won't be fine,' Mikoto answered, wishing Totsuka would just drop it, 'I could hurt you.'

'You won't hurt me,' Totsuka said with certainty, he smiled as though that problem had never even crossed his mind. Totsuka slipped his fingers into Mikoto's, pressing their hands together.

Mikoto closed his eyes, not wanting to watch if it went wrong, he let the flames go out of his hand, still a little unsure of what he was doing, he waited to hear if Totsuka cried out in pain, but the cry didn't come and when the flames died and he opened his eyes, Totsuka was smiling down at him again.

' I think it worked,' Totsuka grinned, he tried to pull his hand away, but Mikoto kept a firm grip on it; Totsuka gave up trying to pull away, knowing it would be pointless.

'You're an idiot,' Mikoto commented, leaning his head onto his other hand; the hand covering his face, 'Do you know what I would have done if you'd died.'

'I'm not going anywhere,' Totsuka put his hand into Mikoto's hair, feeling his other hand become free, only for Mikoto's arms to reach around his waist, pulling him closer in fear, 'Everything worked out ok.'


	2. Fake Stars

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this; they belong to their original owners. This is completely non-profit

Authors note: Hope you like the new chapter! I'm not really sure when its set, sometime when Totsuka was recently into stargazing!

* * *

Totsuka was pulling Mikoto up the stairs, Totsuka was running pretty fast, excited that Mikoto had actually agreed to see the view from up on the roof: it was one of his favourite places in the city, even during the night you could see a lot from up there.

Totsuka ran over to the bar that was on the side of the roof, leaning his arms on them, staring out at the view, he smiled as he looked over at the view: Mikoto was stood further back on the roof, watching Totsuka instead of the sky. Totsuka turned around quickly, leaning back against the bar instead, his shoulders behind the bar itself: Mikoto grabbed his arms, pulling him forward, 'Are you trying to fall?'

'I couldn't fall from that angle,' Totsuka laughed, 'It's fine.'

Mikoto released him without saying anything, going to lean on the sidebar: Totsuka grinned and came to stand next to him, staring forwards, just as Mikoto was. Totsuka kept smiling, not really minding the silence at this moment, his arms started getting colder, but he barely noticed it, still looking out at the sky.

Totsuka felt something land on his shoulders, the thing smelled like cigarette smoke and a faint scent of alcohol: it didn't take him long to realise it was Mikoto's jacket, 'Why are you giving me this?'

'You were shivering.'

'Won't you be cold?'

'I'm fine.' Mikoto shrugged.

'You should really take better care of yourself,' Totsuka tilted his head, still a slight smile; after all it was typical of Mikoto.

'I don't want to hear that from you,' the redhead answered.

Totsuka pulled the coat around him, starting to feel a lot warmer, though he wasn't sure it was completely down to the coat, he loved the smell of it, the smell of his king: but he resisted the urge to keep smelling it in case it freaked Mikoto out.

'You know, I found this place when I was trying to find somewhere to stargaze,' Totsuka broke the silence, smiling widely again, 'It's really hard to stargaze in the city though.'

'Because of the pollution,' Mikoto answered, looking back over to watch Totsuka as he spoke.

'Yes, I would have better luck in the countryside,' Totsuka laughed, 'but I'd never go out there.'

'Why not?' Mikoto asked, wondering if he really wanted to learn the answer or if he wanted Totsuka to realise that he could leave the city: _no, leaving the city would be good for Totsuka, it'd be less dangerous._

'I'm your vassal right? I want to stay near my king,' Totsuka answered, thinking the answer was obvious. Mikoto looked down, relieved that Totsuka didn't want to leave, even if it was what was best for him, Mikoto didn't want him to leave.

'Mikoto?' Totsuka asked after a while of his king not saying anything, when Mikoto sent red sparks into the air, lighting up the sky like stars: Totsuka stopped and stared at them.

'Which ones are constellations?' Mikoto asked, assuming Totsuka would want to talk about something in depth like that.

'None of them,' Totsuka laughed, 'you didn't make any.'

'Where do they go then?' Mikoto asked, leaning on the sidebar again.

'It doesn't matter,' Totsuka smiled, 'Sometimes stars are more beautiful without a pattern.'

Mikoto guessed that was supposed to have some weird profound meaning that only Totsuka would ever work out, he sighed, 'whatever.'

'But I always wanted to see a shooting star,' Totsuka smiled, 'because you can make wishes on them, if we see one, you have to make a wish too.'

'Fine,' Mikoto sighed, making one of the 'stars' shoot across the sky: Totsuka closed his eyes, a stupidly big grin on his face, 'you wish too.'

Mikoto decided that he might as well do it, closing his eyes and thinking of what he wanted.

'What did you wish for?' Totsuka asked as he opened his eyes again, looking over at the other.

'For you to stop being an idiot,' Mikoto answered bluntly and honestly, not looking away from Totsuka at all, 'what about you?'

'I can't tell you, it won't come true,' Totsuka laughed, 'that's how wishes work.'

'It's not even a real star,' Mikoto answered, the 'stars' disappearing.

'I believed they were stars,' Totsuka smiled, 'so I'm not going to tell you, because I really want it to come true.'


	3. Dreams and Worries

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this; they belong to their original owners. This is completely non-profit

Authors note: This chapter includes a dream where Totsuka thinks Mikoto is not alive, I thought you might like that warning; other than that the chapter shows more about Totsuka and it's my first time really trying to write from his point of view, I imagine him to be someone who doesn't like to share his worries: anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

'Mikoto is really late,' Kusanagi was frowning, leaning against the bar, he was worried and even Totsuka had to admit that Mikoto had been out too long.

'He'll be back soon,' Totsuka said again, he must have said those words ten times in the past couple of hours, he was sat on the sofa; a blanket wrapped around his shoulders: 'There's no need to worry.'

Kusanagi sighed, from what Totsuka could tell; Kusanagi hadn't stopped worrying at all, Totsuka was blinking a lot, trying to keep himself awake: he was sure Kusanagi was tired as well but neither had the intention of leaving until Mikoto had returned.

* * *

_It was the hand lingering on his shoulder, Kusanagi was opposite Totsuka: giving him a sad look, something seemed to have disappeared from the people around him, all of the people in the bar were staring vacantly, at the floor, the walls, even at one another: Totsuka looked around confused as the whole bar fell in silence, he was aware that some of them seemed to be crying and it was if his body refused to move, stopping him from comforting them, as if Kusanagi's hand was keeping him pinned in place. He became aware that there was a faint chatter around him, low and barely audible; the place seemed cold, as if all the fire had been taken out of it, all the warmth. The rest of the world seemed to stop as Totsuka realised what was missing, 'Whens Mikoto coming back?' _

'_Totsuka,' The reply seemed to come out as slowly as possible, drawing the moment out, 'Hes not coming back.' _

_Totsuka refused to believe it, 'No,' he was trying to shout but the words were barely above a whisper, likely because the others words had knocked that breath out of him, 'He is a king, he'll come back, he can't be…' _

* * *

Totsuka's whole body jerked backwards, hitting the back of the sofa, as he felt something touching his hair: he looked up to see Mikoto's outstretched hand being pulled backwards: dazed and still half-asleep Totsuka stared at him; not taking in he was alive but not believing he was dead either. Totsuka sat up, finally pulling himself out of just awakened confusion; Mikoto was fine, just as he thought he would be, just as he had told Kusanagi a little while ago.

'You're back,' Totsuka's face broke into a relieved smile, the blanket falling from his shoulders, it was fine, the warmth was still there.

'Totsuka,' Mikoto's voice came out clearly, 'Is there something wrong?'

'No, everything's fine,' Totsuka grinned, wondering what was giving him away, he look around the bar, 'Where's Kusanagi?' he asked, trying to change the subject.

'He left,' Mikoto's answer was blunt, 'what happened?' he asked, stubbornly refusing to drop it.

'Nothing, nothing happened,' Totsuka answered, his smile broadening, wishing the question would go away.

'Who threatened you?' Mikoto asked, getting up out of his seat, going to leave again, Totsuka grabbed onto his wrist without thinking.

'No-one threatened me,' Totsuka insisted, still clutching onto his king's wrist, There seemed to be a long pause of silence, until Totsuka followed Mikoto's eyes, finding them looking down to where he was holding him: Totsuka pulled his hand away, wondering why he had done it in the first place; but at least Mikoto wasn't marching off to beat someone up.

Mikoto sighed, taking a seat next to Totsuka this time, his arms spread across the back of the sofa, 'Is it really so bad you can't tell me?'

Totsuka swayed, the tiredness starting to overcome the panic again, he fell against Mikoto, hearing the other's heartbeat, steady although slightly fast, through his shirt: Totsuka's eyes began to close, he felt an arm moving around him, pulling closer to Mikoto's chest, 'I just want to stay by your side,' Totsuka murmured, swearing he could have felt the pressure of lips against his temple just before he drifted back off to sleep.


	4. Call Me My King

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this; they belong to their original owners. This is completely non-profit

Authors note: Not really sure when its set, sometime when Homra has a lot of clansmen really, so closer to the anime than the previous chapters! I hope you like it and Please review and let me know what you think.

* * *

Mikoto was asleep in the downstairs room of the bar, Totsuka had gone back to check on him and try to get him to actually come into the bar, where the rest of the red clansmen were. Luckily, Mikoto had opened his eyes when Totsuka had came down the stairs and was starting to sit up on the sofa.

'Everyone is waiting for you,' Totsuka told him, waiting for him to get up.

'I'm still tired,' Mikoto answered, chucking his feet back onto the sofa, laying backwards again.

Totsuka laughed, moving to sit on the edge of the sofa, 'That's not a very king-like thing to say.'

'Not my fault I'm not an ideal king,' Mikoto answered, starting to close his eyes again, Totsuka frowned while he wasn't looking, he hadn't meant that at all.

'No, I think you're a perfect king,' Totsuka smiled again, looking down at a spot on the floor rather than at Mikoto, 'You take action when it really matters.'

Mikoto had opened his eyes at that, starting to sit up; wondering what Totsuka was going on about, he was far from the perfect image of a king, more like a mafia boss or a gangster if anything and one day someone around him would get hurt, just for being part of the clan. 'Stop being an idiot,' he replied.

'I'm not,' Totsuka answered, looking up from the floor, 'You are our king!'

'Our,' Mikoto repeated not used to hearing it.

'What?' Totsuka asked, the full smile back on his face, thinking that Mikoto was listening to what he was saying about him being a great king, 'you're our king; you have a lot of clansmen so you must be a good king'

'It's usually my,' Mikoto commented, sighing as Totsuka pulled a confused face, 'You always use my king, not our king.'

Totsuka thought about it for a moment, turning his shoulders so he was looking at Mikoto properly, 'I guess I got used to the others saying it,' he smiled, 'why does it bother you?'

Mikoto looked away from Totsuka, it did bother him, he felt like that meant there was more distance between them, but was that such a bad thing, maybe Totsuka would stop doing such stupid things that would get him killed if there was more distance between them, 'No,' he lied.

Totsuka realised it was a lie, smiling to cover up the hurt of being lied to, 'Let's go see the other clansmen then,' he said, trying to achieve what he actually came down here to do.

Mikoto recognised that smile, the one Totsuka used when he was actually worried or upset and didn't want anyone to know. He found himself leaning closer, 'what happened?' he asked, needing to know if Totsuka was in trouble.

'Nothing,' Totsuka kept the smile, wanting to let it drop, 'Its nothing,' he repeated as Mikoto continued to keep his gaze on him, waiting for a different answer. Totsuka tensed, realising that it wasn't going to go away, reluctantly saying it out loud, 'You lied to me.'

Mikoto collapsed onto him in relief, hearing Totsuka give a gasp of surprise as his arms went around him. He'd thought it would be something really serious, something that could have taken Totsuka away from him, 'Why didn't you just say so?' he muttered, resting his head on Totsuka's shoulder.

'I thought you'd have a reason,' Totsuka answered, lightly putting his arms around him, 'but I want to stay with you and if you lie, maybe you don't want that.' Totsuka's hand started shaking, not being able to imagine a world without his king.

Mikoto moved back, taking a hold of the side of his face, 'Stop,' he said clearly, still feeling Totsuka still shaking a little.

'Stop what?' Totsuka asked, his smile completely gone off his face, completely replaced with fear.

'Being an idiot,' Mikoto answered, hitting him in the head: Totsuka smiled again, everything was ok again now, Mikoto wasn't going to make him leave. He tightened his grip around Mikoto, leaning up brushing their lips together for what seemed like a millisecond before moving away. Totsuka pulled away, a huge grin across his face.

Mikoto stared at him, still wondering what just happened: Totsuka had kissed him? He could feel his heart racing, wondering if there was a possibility he could lose control of himself, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him.

'Sorry,' Totsuka said, even though he still had the wide grin. Then Totsuka got pulled forward, Mikoto crashing their lips together as they fell backwards, flat against the sofa. He could feel Mikoto's warmth below him, his arms having ended up on Mikoto's chest after he'd been pulled backwards, he could feel Mikoto's arms still around him as he pulled himself up using Mikoto's shoulders so that his lips could reach easier.

When Totsuka pulled away, a clear smile on his face, Mikoto's hand moved to quickly grab his face: Totsuka looked down at Mikoto 'You call me whatever you want.'

'My King,' Totsuka said, sitting up on his lap, Mikoto sitting up as well, placing his head against Totsuka's shoulder, 'We really have to go.'


	5. I Will Follow You Anywhere

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this; they belong to their original owners. This is completely non-profit

Authors note: Set sometime around when the Homra clan has quite a few members, there is no exact timing. Sorry it's a little short; but it felt like the right place to end it. There might be a second part to this one!

* * *

Totsuka's eyes fluttered open, hugging the camera to his chest, he sat up, looking around the bar; seeing no-one but Mikoto sat at the bar, taking a shot of whiskey. He must have been asleep for a while, everyone had been here when he'd fallen asleep. He smiled, moving over to the bar, putting the camera down; Mikoto looked over at him, downing the rest of the drink.

'I slept a lot then?' Totsuka asked, already knowing the answer, leaning on the bar next to Mikoto. Mikoto looked up at him again, the glass being put back down against the bar with a click. 'Did everyone have fun when I was asleep?' Totsuka asked.

'Think so,' Mikoto answered vaguely, 'What about you?'

'I was asleep,' Totsuka laughed, 'but I didn't have any nightmares, so it must have been happy, I can't really remember what happened in my dream.'

'Idiot,' Mikoto sighed as Totsuka completely missed the point of the question, turning himself on the bar stool so he was facing the other.

'I'm happy when I'm awake too,' Totsuka grinned, putting a hand over his camera, 'I get to record so many happy memories.'

Mikoto kept staring at him, looking at the switched off camera; 'You're not in them.'

Totsuka laughed, his eyes closing as his voice became softer, 'I am, but I'm the one that wants to keep them safe, so I have to hold the camera as well,' Totsuka's grin faded a little as he opened his eyes and saw a flicker of annoyance cross over Mikoto's face.

'You never record us,' Mikoto commented.

Totsuka lifted the camera up, 'Smile, Mikoto.' He said, turning the contraption on, pointing the lens at his king.

'Don't record me,' Mikoto murmured, turning his face away from the camera.

'You just told me to!' Totsuka protested happily, taking the camera away, not wanting to risk Mikoto breaking it, 'You're normally fine with the camera.'

_It's different when we're alone, _the thought ran through Mikoto's head, but he didn't say anything, instead keeping his eyes away from Totsuka, hoping he wouldn't pick the camera up again. He kept wondering if Totsuka was really happy here, pacifists usually didn't get along well with gangs. He felt arms mover around his shoulders, looking up to find Totsuka's face slightly too close to his own, 'what's wrong, King?' Totsuka asked, with an uneasy smile, 'It'll be alright.'

'You don't know what it is,' Mikoto commented to the second part and Totsuka's smile broadened,.

'I'm sure we can fix it if we're together.'

Totsuka got pulled forward, stumbling into the bar stool; Mikoto's arms reaching around his waist, pulling them closely together, Totsuka feeling Mikoto leaning into him as he tightened his arms around his king's neck.

'What if we weren't?' Mikoto's voice came mumbled from his shoulder. He could feel the vibration as Totsuka laughed.

'And you call me an idiot,' Totsuka moved his face backwards, looking directly into his kings face, 'I'd follow you anywhere.'

Then Totsuka felt the hot lips against his, starting to wrap his fingers into the top of Mikoto's shirt, as they moved backwards; Mikoto standing with him as he got pushed back against the bar. Starting to feel his jacket fall down his shoulders. Mikoto pulled away from him, their foreheads still leant together, the kings eyes were still closed as Totsuka took in what was happening.

'Don't ever leave.' Mikoto's voice was so low it was barely audible, Totsuka closing his eyes at the end, somehow scared watching it would make the scene break.

'I don't need to record us, because they never fade,' he murmured back, 'our memories never fade.'


	6. Interlude: The Blanket

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this; they belong to their original owners. This is completely non-profit

Authors note: So this chapter is a little different from the ones I normally write, some of it is set much earlier so they sort of have a different relationship than in my normal fics (don't worry they'll go back to how I usually write them in the next chapter!) And this chapter contains Anna, its my first time really writing anything with her in, so please don't be too harsh on me! Thankyou for continuing to read the fic!

* * *

'How does he sleep like that without getting a cold?' Totsuka asked, looking down at Mikoto, who was stretched across the sofa in the bar, fast asleep. Totsuka smiled slightly, dropping the blanket down onto Mikoto, at least that way he was even less likely to get it.

'No,' Anna said, her voice low, pulling the sheet off Mikoto.

'Why not?' Totsuka asked looking over at the young girl, who was sitting in front of the sofa, the blanket laid out on the floor from where she had pulled it down: she was still looking at Mikoto as she answered the question.

'We can't cover up the red.'

Totsuka broke out into a smile, 'How about we get a red blanket?' he suggested, 'that way he doesn't catch a cold and there's still the red.' Anna looked between Mikoto and Totsuka, looking unsure of the idea.

Mikoto then started to move, leaning up on his elbows; both of the others eyes moving towards him, 'What?'

'We were deciding whether or not to get a blanket,' Totsuka explained, grinning, 'Anna didn't like the idea very much though.'

'He was covering up the red,' Anna added simply, shoving the blanket further away.

'I didn't mean to, Anna,' Totsuka laughed nervously, hoping she wasn't going to be mad at him, 'I just remembered the time I stole Mikoto's bed and thought he might want the same.'

'This isn't a bed,' Mikoto pointed out, sitting up further, 'It's a sofa.'

'But I sleep there a lot,' Totsuka moved, sitting down on the floor next to Anna, on top of the scrawled out blanket 'You remember that time, don't you?'

Mikoto made a 'huh' noise in recognition; he could remember it very well.

* * *

A few years ago

* * *

Mikoto was looking down at his bed; more importantly the sandy haired boy lying in it. He sighed, he'd thought Totsuka had gone home, Kusanagi had said he'd been there when he went into the kitchen and had disappeared when he'd come out. Kusanagi had left about an hour ago, but it turned out Totsuka was still here, asleep in Mikoto's bedroom.

Totsuka, as if sensing someone else was in the room, started to wake up, looking sleepily up at Mikoto, who turned his face away instantly seeing as his heart had just seen to beat quicker than usual.

'Ah, King you're here,' Totsuka broke out into a smile as Mikoto glanced at him, 'you didn't get turned into a li…' Mikoto hit him over the head.

'Idiot, who dreams something like that?'

'I do,' Totsuka smiled, sitting up: making Mikoto remember the actual question he should have been asking.

'Why are you in my bed?'

'I was tired,' Totsuka answered, as though it was the most natural answer in the world.

'Then go home,' Mikoto answered, frowning as Totsuka just laughed off the complaint, Mikoto sighed, assuming there would probably be no way to get him to leave easily and he wanted to sleep, 'or at least move over.' He added as he climbed onto the bed, taking up the majority: leaving Totsuka squished up on one side, maybe that would make him leave and then Mikoto could sleep.

After a while, Totsuka spoke, 'Single-beds are really hard to fit more than one person on,' his tone sounded joyful, even if slightly tired.

'If you don't like it, go home,' Mikoto answered, his eyes flickering towards Totsuka, who seemed to have broken out of his daze.

'It's all right,' Totsuka answered, his eyes looking directly at Mikoto, his arms curled in front of him.

Mikoto sighed, pulling Totsuka into the middle of the bed with him so he could have more room; it wasn't like Totsuka was going to leave even if that would have been the best idea for him. Although it also had the effect of moving them closer together: Totsuka's hands had ended up against him, his head leaning in on Mikoto's shoulder.

Totsuka's breathing started slowing, his eyes completely shut: having fallen asleep half on top of Mikoto: one thought went through Mikoto's head: _I'm not going to sleep._


	7. I Will Follow You Anywhere (Part Two)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this; they belong to their original owners. This is completely non-profit

Authors note: Second part to Chapter 5! Sorry they were so far apart: anyway if you remember (or if you don't) there was a kissing scene in chapter 5 when the camera was left on (he put it down but he didn't turn it off!) Anyway this chapter is a little different from the others: you'll probably see when you read it. Anyways I hope you like it!

* * *

Mikoto opened his eyes, finding Totsuka lingering in the doorway: he smiled as Mikoto sat up: but the way he was standing, leaning into the doorway, suggested he had something he needed to say, Mikoto sighed, 'What is it?'

Totsuka kept smiling, rather nervously, 'Well what happened in the bar last night; the camera was sort of on.'

'Well then just destroy the tape,' Mikoto replied, without really thinking about his answer, he got up from the sofa he had been sleeping on, going to go back into the bar.

Totsuka followed straight after his king, keeping a smile on his face; wondering why Mikoto wanted him to destroy the tape: every now and then his smile faded slightly before he reminded himself, making it a huge grin again. But even that couldn't get the question out of his head and new ones kept coming with it; _didn't Mikoto want to make memories with him anymore?_

_No, he probably just doesn't like being recorded_

_But what if? What if Mikoto really wants me gone, I forced so many things on him. _

Totsuka found himself sat at the bar; while lots happened around him, catching random parts of conversations, he was sure Yata was talking about a video game and then Chitose was talking about a girl he met. All the time the questions kept going through his head, refusing to leave his thoughts.

'You're not as energetic today,' Kusanagi's voice broke through Totsuka's thoughts: Totsuka gave him a wide grin, 'What do you mean?'

Kusanagi's kept his gaze on him, 'Is it that bad?' worry slipping into his voice.

'Its fine, Its fine,' Totsuka answered, waving it off along with his permanent grin, he looked around, 'Where's my camera?'

'That's one of the things that's weird,' Kusanagi answered, 'Have you given that up now?'

Totsuka shook his head, his smile becoming softer and slightly sadder, 'I never want to stop making memories.' He forced one last wide grin, looking up at Kusanagi, 'I left it in the other room,' he added quickly, before getting up and moving into the other room.

Totsuka closed the door, leaning back against it:he really wanted to keep making memories, but did Mikoto want that too? What if Mikoto didn't, then what would he do? He had found something he didn't want to give up and that was following his king, but what if Mikoto really didn't want him around, what if he couldn't stay here anymore? He felt someone pushing at the door; jumping away from it he put his hands up to his eyes, only just realising that there was water there.

'Totsuka?' Mikoto's voice came out as a question, the door clicking shut behind him.

Totsuka's hand stayed in front of his eyes, too worried they would give everything away if he removed them; he put a weak smile onto his face. He opened his mouth to say that everything would be fine, but before he could, he felt arms reach around him.

Mikoto was clutching at Totsuka, feeling the other lean into him, 'It's going to be fine, right?' he asked it as less as a question but something that should both already know.

'Its going to be fine,' Totsuka's voice sounded tired, as he leant into Mikoto, 'Don't stop being my king.'

'You're an idiot,' Mikoto mumbled at that as Totsuka's eyes closed.

* * *

It was long after everyone else had left, Mikoto was waiting for Totsuka to come back: he hadn't let him out of his sight since he'd found him earlier; he still needed to find out what had been wrong with him. Mikoto was having a hard time holding in his annoyance, if someone had make Totsuka like that he wanted to know who it was.

Totsuka came back, carrying some of his camera's film; he held it out to Mikoto, who took it: wondering why he was being given it at all, 'Am I supposed to watch it?' he asked.

Totsuka laughed slightly, 'If you want to, you can do anything you want with it; I know you told me to destroy it but… I couldn't.'

Mikoto finally joined the dots in his head, 'Is this what you were upset about?' he asked, sighing slightly, there was nothing as stupid as this, 'You said yourself you didn't need to record us.'

Totsuka smile went a little bit awkward at that as he sat down next to Mikoto, 'Well, it's still difficult when you tell me to destroy it.'

'You're an idiot,' Mikoto remarked, hitting him over the back of the head. Totsuka's grin went back to normal at the familiarity, looking up at his king.


End file.
